While the current news cycle probably has you feeling pretty blue, never fear! There are still some bright spots to be found in the weekly news roundup.
Here are some actual “wins” that went down this week to remind you that not everything is a total garbage fire, and to help you start your weekend off with an air of optimism:
5. Some rhino poachers in South Africa were apparently mauled and eaten by lions.
Rest In Pieces https://t.co/0PqVt9mrBY
— Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) July 5, 2018
Sure, it’s probably perverse to celebrate in anybody’s death — but that certainly didn’t stop Twitter from reveling in this week’s news story about three would-be rhino poachers who snuck onto the Sibuya Game Reserve in South Africa and were subsequently attacked and devoured by the pride of lions living there. It’s a pretty gruesome way to go, but if you’re illegally killing a bunch of rhinos just to sell their horns, you’re already racking up some pretty bad karma.
Just a heartening reminder that natural selection is still alive and well!
4. Right-wing actor and raging homophobe James Woods was dropped by his agent.
So this email from my agent (a political liberal) today… pic.twitter.com/RLXUWi9no8
— James Woods (@RealJamesWoods) July 5, 2018
James Woods, who appropriately stands out in my mind as the voice of Hades in Disney’s Hercules, has become something of a right-wing mouthpiece on Twitter, spewing all manner of vitriolic comments about gay people, trans people, and the general liberal population. So, when his agent exercised his “patriotic” duty to drop Woods from his client roster on the 4th of July, the internet collectively celebrated.
The only downside is that this definitely means that Woods will have even more time on his hands, which will probably be spent on Twitter …
3. Two strangers found unlikely romance on a plane.
— Rosey Blair (@roseybeeme) July 3, 2018
Rosey Blair’s thread about how an unexpected seat swap on her flight led to two passengers hitting it off had Twitter on the edge of its collective seat. People couldn’t help but revel in the delight of the spontaneous romance, and Rosey’s hilarious updates kept everybody entertained throughout the entirety of the saga.
So, if you’re feeling grouchy about an upcoming flight, just remember that it might not be so bad after all — you might find the love of your life and/or go viral!
2. Scott Pruitt resigned as Trump’s EPA Chief amid a myriad of scandals.
Experts are anticipating that Scott Pruitt’s replacement at the EPA will be Hexxus, the menacing shadow of destruction best known for his work in FernGully
— Lauren Duca (@laurenduca) July 6, 2018
If you enjoy clean air, or animals, or national parks, or wildlife, then Scott Pruitt’s resignation from his position as EPA Chief is GOOD F**KING NEWS FOR YOU. In addition to radical deregulation policies (which are, spoiler alert, terrible for the environment but great for corporations), Pruitt was also caught in a series of extremely questionable spending habits(i.e., wasting millions of taxpayer dollars on a private security detail which he assuredly did not need). While it’s unlikely that Pruitt’s replacement, Andrew Wheeler, will offer much positive change, the news is still a small win for anybody who’s remotely eco-conscious.
1. A bear in California hung out in a hot tub and drank a margarita, becoming the official mascot of Summer 2018.
A bear who wandered into a backyard in California made news this week when it soaked in the homeowner’s hot tub and lapped up the remains of an abandoned margarita. Oh, and after all that, it took a two-hour nap.
Needless to say, people declared this bear to be the true embodiment of “summer goals,” and it has secured a place for itself in internet history forever.
And if a video of a bear chilling in a hot tub isn’t enough to make you smile, then you need to reexamine your personality, my friend.